I’m nervous today. Not sure why exactly, but part of the anxiety is my lack of desire to write lately. I keep trying to tell myself that I am just detoxing from my many hours of overtime in August. I’m recouping from all that hard labor and lack of sleep. Right?
I can go with that, but deep down I wonder if maybe there is more to it. I am a gal who is a creative type. I love to try new endeavors that allow my creativity to soar. The thing is, I never stick with anything.
I’ve tried many things over the years: crossstitch (more of an 80’s thing), calligraphy, calligraphy art, scrapbooking, making cards (an outlet of scrapbooking), knitting (didn’t last long at all) decorating photo albums, tiling clay pots, beading everything, jewelry making (more of the beading thing) and now….writing.
Writing is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done. So deep down I wonder if it will be too hard to stick with. Is this just another outlet? Is this just another side trip for my creative self? Do I really have what it takes?
The only thing different about writing from my other endeavors is that I have dreamed of writing since I was a teen. I haven’t dreamed about anything else. Just writing. So maybe there is hope that this little vacation from writing really is just that. A time to recoup. A time to rest.
But if I really was a writer wouldn’t I WANT to write all the time? Wouldn’t I have that desire deep within to put words to paper? All the time? Every day?
Does anyone out there ever feel like me? Are there any real writers out there who just don’t want to write sometimes?
Forgive my rant. I just wanted to spew forth my fears today.
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