I rented Machine Gun Preacher last night and was left with a disquieting question. (disclaimer: this movie is rated R for violence and language) Am I doing enough for God? Now, as a life-long believer, I know that is such a terrible question to ask. The Christian walk is not about doing…it is about a relationship with Jesus. But is my relationship deep enough to where I am actively pursuing His work around me?

If God is all about His mission in this world – to bring people into relationship with Him – then how am I participating in that mission?

My answer is lamentable. Not much. Yes, I am a preacher’s wife, but what have I been doing other than going to church every Sunday, sing in the Praise Team, help out occasionally in children’s class, and support my husband? Nothing. I quit having people in my home because I live so far away from church. I don’t visit others now that I work full time. I haven’t organized anything because, well, I work and am tired.

As for bringing people into relationship with Jesus? Nope.

In the movie Machine Gun Preacher, the main character, Sam, went on a mission trip to Uganda to work on constructing buildings for the people there. When he went to Sudan and saw that mass of orphans there, he was moved to help. He saw the need in front of him and he acted upon it.

So often my eyes are clouded by all the stuff in life that keeps me busy…to the point that I forget that my life should revolve around Jesus. I want to see clearly. I want to see where God is working and join Him in His work.

Not that I have to be doing something big or great, but I want to be His hands, His mouth, His embrace wherever needed. I want others to experience Jesus when they are around me. I want them to taste and see that He is good.

Am I doing enough? Probably not. But I do have Jesus in my heart and He will work His will in me if I let Him.

Have an awesome weekend!

p.s. I lost 1 pound last night at weigh in!!! Finally! I’ve either stayed the same or gained a little the past month…grrrr.