I miss my Titus. He had some back trouble and became paralyzed and we ended up having to put him down the day after Christmas…and 2 days before my daughter’s wedding. It was not an easy decision and it was probably the hardest…and saddest…things I have ever done.
He was my dog, you see. Actually, my daughter picked him out and wanted him, but in reality, he was mine. He loved me and was very protective of me. He would even growl at anyone who came near me while we took our Sunday afternoon naps.
I was surprised by the grief I experienced at losing Titus. Yes, I loved him, but he was just a dog, right? But Titus wove himself into my life and became an integral part of my life. He was my constant companion. He stayed at my heels and followed me everywhere. He liked to be in my lap or lay next me with his nose tucked under my leg. Yes, we were buddies.
This week has been better. I can now type this without tearing up so much I cannot see the screen. There are times when a wave of sadness washes over me, like when I come home to an empty house without a wiggly excited dog to greet me. Or when I see a squirrel in the yard and can’t whisper “squirrel” and have Titus run to the door in anticipation. Or when I take a nap and miss his warmth curled up next to me.
I know you might think this is silly, writing a tribute to my dog, but I loved him. I miss him.
And I will always remember that he loved me well.